The Lapdog

A funny thing happened earlier today. I was following my usual morning routine. After my morning nap I was sitting on the He person’s lap, trying to write my blog but I wasn’t feeling it. The lawn guys were outside cutting the neighbor’s lawn, the window was open, the smell of cut grass…. I wish some days we had grass. Anyway, my imagination was wandering.

I was just staring intently out the window. Ideas for a topic were there one minute and gone the next. If the He person would let me use his iPad I wouldn’t have to use his computer. He complains because he says he needs to use it. BTW it’s not even his computer, it belongs to his “work.” I thought work was something you do, but no he uses it as a noun.

So a feeling came over me and a smell almost knocked me out. Wow, I need to speak to the He person about his hygiene. Or maybe it is their Landry detergent – it’s not working.

It was more than I could handle and I had to get down. He started laughing and said something like “girl you sharted on me.” Well I like to think I am well read and neither the Cambridge Dictionary or the Oxford American Dictionary has “Shart.” I think he made that up and shift the blame for his hygiene issues.

Anyway, I told him he should consider changing his pants before he goes out anywhere with me. He can embarrass himself but he is not embarrassing me.